55-year-old Gen X dad reacts with disappointment when his 26-year-old daughter tells him she is reducing her work schedule from 6 days a week to 5 days a week and 40 hours: 'In his eyes, wanting 1 extra day to breathe is equivalent to laziness'

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    "The look on his face made it seem like I told him I had 24 hours to live."

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    My dad thinks I’m 'not working' because I refused to keep working 6 days a week.

    I love my dad. He was a single parent who sacrificed everything to make sure my sisters and I had what we needed. Growing up, I watched him work two jobs, six days a week, for years. He never called in sick and rarely took a vacation. I always admired his work ethic, but I didn't truly understand the weight of it until I entered the workforce myself.
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    "I love my dad. He was a single parent who sacrificed everything to make sure my sisters and I had what we needed."

    A well-intended father with a steadfast worldview on work and careers.
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    I recently moved into a new apartment. My dad came up to help me move, buy some essentials, and grab lunch. It was a great day until the conversation inevitably turned to work. He has this underlying anxiety that I won't make enough or that I'll fail-he doesn't say it directly, but it's there in every question he asks.
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    I told him the good news: my boss values me, I'm moving up, and I'm finally getting a raise. Most importantly, I told him I'm moving to a 5-day work week. I've been working 6 days a week for nearly 7 months now. Between learning a new job, dealing with a move, and managing my depre son, I am completely burnt out. I even told him, "I can't keep doing this long-term, and I shouldn't be expected to."
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    The look on his face made it seem like I told him I had 24 hours to live. He immediately snapped back with, "Well, you can't not work."
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    I felt so defeated. I only took two days off to move my entire life before going right back to the grind. My employer actually agreed with me— they admitted 6 days isn't sustainable and are moving me to a 40-hour, 5-day schedule because it's better for everyone. It's a logical, healthy boundary.
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    But in his eyes, wanting one extra day to breathe is equivalent to laziness or "not working." It's incredibly frustrating to have your exhaustion dismissed because the previous generation was conditioned to set themselves on fire to keep the engine running. I can appreciate what he did for us while still refusing to repeat the cycle of burnout for myself.
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    An old family photograph of a dad and his infant daughter
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    CalmBeneathCastles He might be afraid of seeing you fail, maybe because in his mind, the ability to grind = the ability to survive. As someone who has been forced to swim or sink, I can understand how someone saying they're burned out after working 48 hours a week for less than a year, might seem like they lack tenacity, and I might worry about their ability to survive, after being in survival mode myself. But maybe he's a bit envious, idk.
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    I would never say what he said, because I'm of the opinion that no one wants to toil away with no reward (basic survival aside), and I don't want my kids to share my fate. Maybe ask him why he said that, whether he has enjoyed his life, and why he seems to want you to have the same life he's had, if you have the opportunity to have it a bit easier.
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    Kids should have the ability to tell their parents when they've said something hurtful, and expect an explanation at least, if not full apology.
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    Melly1265 OP replied to CalmBeneath Castles 1 day ago My father, while a good guy and a good dad, has never been the type to apologize if he was wrong or had a hurtful opinion. It was always his way or the highway, which makes communication very difficult with him because he doesn't actively listen. He is
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    listening with the intent to prove me wrong, argue or tell me I'm wrong because what do I know as a 20 something year old? At this point, an apology will never happen and I've accepted that. I just wish he thought more about what he said to me and how it might impact me.

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